Roni Cohen-Sandler, PhD
Clinical adolescent psychologist and author of Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure; Trust Me, Mom—Everyone Else is Going; and the national best seller I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You!
“Thank you so much for the gift of your knowledge, your experience and your heart. Never have I met someone so generous and passionate about their desire to help young people.” G.R., Glenbard West High School, Illinois
Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler is a clinical psychologist in private practice specializing in parenting; the issues of women and adolescent girls, mother-daughter relationships; and neuropsychological assessments (e.g., for learning difficulties, attention disorders, etc.). She travels across the country and 
abroad as a guest lecturer, panel moderator, and workshop presenter for middle schools and high schools, community organizations, hospitals, corporations, and universities, including Harvard, Duke, New York University, University of Chicago, and Northwestern. Also consulting to television (e.g., Discovery Health and WE-TV),
Recently, Dr. Cohen-Sandler was the spokesperson for the hit docu-series High School Confidential, with a number of other television projects in development.
Dr. Cohen-Sandler’s first book, “I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You!” A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict, was a national bestseller published also in Australia, New Zealand, China, Greece, Poland, and Japan. Her second book, Trust Me, Mom—Everyone Else is Going! won a 2002 National Parenting Publication Award gold medal and was published in Portugal. Dr. Cohen-Sandler’s most recent book, Stressed-out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure, is based on a national study of 3000 middle school and high school students and describes the pressures girls today are experiencing in their efforts to be successful—as well as what parents and educators can do to help them.
Dr. Cohen-Sandler is a frequent guest on national media, including Oprah, The Today Show, Good Morning America, The Tyra Banks Show, The Early Show, and NPR. Her expert opinion has appeared in Newsweek, The New York Times, USA Today, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, USA Weekend magazine, Marie Claire, Better Homes and Gardens, Seventeen, YM, Parenting, Teen People, Family Circle, Teen Vogue, Redbook, Glamour, and numerous other publications. She is a contributing editor to Girls’ Life magazine, has written columns for Daughters and Weston Magazine, serves as a Parenting Expert for ClubMom.com, and was recently appointed to Hadassah’s National Women’s Health Advisory Council.
Dr. Cohen-Sandler is married, with a daughter and son in their twenties.
Popular Speaking Topics
For Parents of Adolescent Girls:
Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure -
As the emphasis on achievement and competition has increased in our culture, teenage girls have experienced skyrocketing stress in their quests for success. Many not only want to succeed, but also to do it all—to earn perfect grades in school, pack their schedules with demanding extracurricular activities, achieve popularity in their social lives, and get into first-rate colleges. But as girls struggle to live up to these high expectations, they keep their stress hidden from the teachers and parents they most wish to please. As a result, their behavior is often misunderstood, thereby undermining their self-esteem, well-being, and ultimate success.
Raising Great Girls: The Role Fathers Play
Although fathers today are more invested and involved in their teen daughters, it is often confusing for them to know how to stay close. After all, they were never teenage girls! Dr. Cohen-Sandler explains what’s behind girls’ confusing new behaviors, what’s making them tick, and how dads can develop and maintain strong relationships throughout the adolescent years. Topics include debunking myths, the keys to trust, strategic approaches to good communication, building confidence, and having fun together.
Talking to Your Daughter About Sex
In this hyper-sexualized society, girls are exposed to sexual material far earlier than ever before. Parents are understandably concerned about how to manage this onslaught of stimulation. Roni provides parents the developmental information, age-appropriate interventions, and practical advice for having those difficult discussions. Rather than scheduling “The Talk,” for example, she demonstrates how to raise important issues about respect, bodily awareness, relationships, and other values in everyday situations throughout the preteen and teen years.
For Parents of Teens:
Stressed-Out Parents: Balancing Involvement in Your Teen’s Life
Parents today often feel overwhelmed by the pressures of raising kids who shine in school, in their social lives, and in their extracurricular activities. Mothers and fathers typically struggle to figure out how much they should do to help their children succeed. How much help is too much? When does caring and involvement become over-involvement or helicopter parenting? And what’s so bad about becoming invested in your child’s achievements?
Using a lively, interactive, workshop-like format, Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler helps mothers and fathers to reflect on their basic expectations and critically examine their parenting. She demonstrates through clinical case examples how some of the most common, everyday parenting behaviors can backfire, actually preventing kids from developing the skills they need to function at their best—now and also when they leave for college. Parents will leave this talk enriched with a new outlook, a repertoire of practical strategies, and newfound confidence in their effectiveness.
Involved, or Too Involved? Drawing the Line to Foster Your Child’s Success
In this era of extraordinary competition, concerned parents are closely monitoring children’s achievement in school, activities, and their social lives. To every parent, good grades and test scores, extracurricular successes, and friendships are reassuring signs that children are doing well. But when kids struggle in any of these areas, worried mothers and fathers are compelled to help, sometimes taking a more hands-on approach with daily homework, studying, and sports. It is hard for parents to know, however, when appropriate support crosses the line and becomes micromanagement. Why is hovering and meddling harmful to kids? And to parents? What are typical signs that parents’ well-intentioned efforts to help are backfiring? What are the benefits of doing less? Based on her 30 years’ experience evaluating students and working with families, Dr. Cohen-Sandler uses her insights and observations to clarify for parents when it is best to step in—and when to step back.
Problem-Proofing Teens and Pre-teens
Frightened by what they hear about the adolescent world from friends, relatives, and the news, parents of today’s preteens and young teenagers often feel overwhelmed by the prospect of their delightful children turning into terrible teens. Mothers and fathers worry about today’s little problems becoming tomorrow’s horror stories and unspeakable heartaches. To set the groundwork for prevention, Problem-Proofing Preteens addresses parents’ greatest concerns, giving them key information to best focus their priorities and use effective, everyday strategies with school-age and tween children. Mothers, fathers, grandparents, and caregivers of 11-15 year olds will learn to instill the sound values, self-discipline, and accountability that are crucial for avoiding trouble in the teen years and building strong relationships. Based on research, nearly 30 years as a psychologist, real clinical case examples, and the experience of raising a nearly grown daughter and son, Dr. Cohen-Sandler empowers parents with reassuring knowledge and proven skills to raise children more confidently, competently, and joyfully.
Additional topics:
- I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You! Surviving and Thriving Mother-Teen Daughter Relationships
- Raising Teens in the 21st Century – New Rules for New Times
- Translating Teenglish—And Other Vital Communication Tools
- To Snoop or Not to Snoop—While Staying in the Loop
- Building Teens’ Self-Esteem
- Truth and Consequences: Effectively Disciplining Teens
- Healthy Peer Relationships: How parents can help
For Education Professionals:
Stressed-Out Teens: A Workshop for Educators (Duration: 1.5 hours – variable)
Based on her recent survey of 3,000 middle school and high school students, in-depth interviews with 100+ teen girls, and 28 years of clinical work with students and schools, Dr. Cohen-Sandler shares with educators why girls now feel more intense pressure than boys do to succeed academically and socially, as well as the myriad ways in which girls typically hide their distress.
More important, descriptions of five specific groups of vulnerable girls—girls in transition, “square pegs” who feel like misfits in their schools and/or families, girls who are desperate for social acceptance, perfectionists, and girls who are distracted by pressing personal and/or family problems—provide a framework with which teachers and administrators can better recognize and understand these girls.
Finally, practical strategies geared toward each of these at-risk groups will help educators to reduce girls’ anxiety, build their resiliency, and enable them to become more successful. Eye-opening, first-hand anecdotes from real girls will give educational professionals a candid glimpse into the secret struggles of teen girls today—and insights into what they say they most need from their teachers and administrators to alleviate their stress and flourish in school.
Praise for Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler
I’ve heard so many positive comments about the student assembly and the Parent Coffee. A mom told me how much she appreciated hearing what you had to say and how she and her senior daughter had talked about what they had learned from you. Just what I was hoping would happen! I look forward to future endeavors with you.
Ann Bussard, Director of Guidance, Mayfield Senior School, California
“We would like to extend our sincere gratitude for sharing your insightful knowledge of the ever evolving mother/daughter relationship. Your talk of “Mothering Our Daughters in the 21st Century” really hit home on how challenging that task can be. It is refreshing to know that we all make mistakes or sometimes “lose it” with our teenage daughters….Your research on parenting and the mother/daughter relationship will prove to be a fundamental tool for the way we raise our daughters in the 21st Century.”
Christine B., President, National Charity League, New Canaan Chapter, Connecticut
“I cannot tell you how many times during this past year I have reflected on your comments and observations. I am impressed with the impact your advice and wisdom had on our parent group as well as the middle and upper school girls.”
L.S., Hockaday School, Texas
“Thank you again for all that you did to support our new organization and make our event so successful! You definitely created a new awareness of stress and girls. You are an inspiration! I feel a renewed sense of commitment to our work.”
Mary Ellen, President, Helping Girls Navigate Adolescence, Illinois
“It has been less than 24 hours and you cannot imagine the amount of positive feedback!! It is all the same…..FABULOUS…. so real, down to earth, info you can actually use, etc. They don’t just want you to come back to the elementary school and the middle school….they want you to come live with them!! Roni, as always, you were terrific.”
Suzanne Kramer, Mark Twain Library, Connecticut
“Thank you for speaking at our General Parent Council meeting…you were poised, informative, practical, humorous, and encouraging. Thanks to your expertise and real experience, I think that everyone learned new skills as we parent our adolescents.”
N.H.C., Hopkins School, Connecticut
I’d like to tell you how much we enjoyed your presentation. Your enthusiastic audience of parents, educators and other caregivers was totally engaged throughout and found the program very valuable. Your book was certainly an added bonus. Our supply ran out before the program was over and we had to order additional copies.
C.J.F., B.O.W. Parenting Initiative, Connecticut
“Thank you for the wonderful presentation you gave at our school. The seminal message dealing with the issues of adolescence was down to earth and at the same time dynamic. Using wisdom, humor and personal life experience you managed to engage and teach an audience eager to guide and protect their children in what often seems to them an alien world. The positive feedback from those who attended and the exceptional sale of books was an indicator of the huge success of the evening…they will be a dependable guide and source of inspiration for the many parents who bought them.”
M.M., The Ursuline School, New Rochelle, New York
“I have planned programs with many speakers for Northside Hospital’s Major Speakers Program. Roni is one of the most down-to-earth, personable speakers with whom I’ve had the pleasure to work. And her presentation was right on the mark. She mixed just the right amount of humor and anecdotes with statistics, research, and guidelines to hold the audience’s attention for the hour. Everyone seemed to relate well to her, there were a lot of raised hands, head nodding, and smiles of understanding.”
Judy Stanton, Northside Hospital, Atlanta, Georgia
