I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m a talker. I like to share and find things I have in common with others. Here are some things I might share if we met at a networking event, conference or cocktail party:

1. Lately, lines from children’s books invade my thoughts. And chances are, if you give a Krista a kid’s book, she’ll want another to go with it…

2. I got hooked on books in Mr. Mac’s sixth grade class when we collected our short stories and had them bound in hardcover with real imprinted titles. The thrill of watching him open the box and hand us our copies, fresh off the press– the creak the hardback cover made the first time I opened it.  It was amazing.

3. I’m still chasing that dragon – and want to realize it for myself again.

4. Mad Men has spoiled me for just about every other television show.

5. I almost failed keyboarding in high school.

6. I smoked a pack a day for over 15 years – more  than half my life before I quit.

7. I’m as proud of myself for quitting as I am of anything .

8. Cinque Terre, on the Italian Riviera, is probably my favorite place on Earth. Isla Mujeres off the coast of Cancun is a close second.

9. My mother signed me up for a speed reading course in high school and I can’t thank her enough.

10. I love a good yard sale and will drive well out of my way to discover one.

11. Eleven is my second favorite number after 22.

12. In the orginial post, I left out #12! Reminder: proofreading is a must!

13. I wear cheap drugstore sunglasses without shame. Three times in the last decade I went with  trendy, pricey, designer ones. Within two weeks of each purchase I lost one pair and sat on the other two.  (Finally) I learned.

14. We adopted our wonderful dog Josie through a rescue org in Turks & Caicos. She’s a Potcake. What’s a Potcake? Read about them here.

15. One of the best people watching experiences of my life was the first tattoo artists’ convention in the state of Massachusetts the year they lifted a ban on ink shops. Got my butterfly fixed, too.

16. In college, I had one poem published in the school literary magazine. I wrote the poem on a dare. When we know each other a little better, I’ll tell you what it was about

17. I’ve worked in some capacity or another since I was thirteen, not counting babysitting. A gourmet food shop, a catering company, a women’s consignment shop were all employers before I graduated high school.

18. I’m left handed.

19. My idea of a perfect vacation now that I have two very young sons? An uninterrupted 2-hour reading stretch followed by a straight eight hours of sleep. Ahh, dare to dream!

20. Listening to music is a spiritual activity for me. It’s all about the lyrics, baby.

21. I think social media kicks ass.

22. The first book that ever made me cry? Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls. That one got me good.

Do we share anything in common? Is there something specific you want to know? Shoot me an email: krista AT bookingauthors DOT com. I’d love to chat!

One of the greatest rewards of working with authors is that my life gets enriched while we do the work of helping bring attention to some truly wonderful ideas and books.

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (Hazelden, Oct, 2010) by Brené Brown is one such book.  (Want to be rocked by her work on courage, compassion, connection and vulnerability in 20:20 minutes flat? Check out her recent TEDxHouston talk.)

In fact, I’m going to go so far as to say I believe I was meant to meet her and embrace her work.

It helps that Brené’s a funny, occasionally-foul mouthed (in the sassiest way), intelligent, creative, warm, kind, Lyle Lovett-loving, Texan woman and mother. What more could you want from a soul-searching companion?

With the launch of The Gifts of Imperfection (TGOI), Brené issued a call for The Perfection Protest – a call that was heard far and wide. As of this writing, 277 posted links to their photographic (and other) forms of protest – this post will be 278 if someone doesn’t beat me to it. Read the initial post here,  and Brene’s follow up as the protest caught fire.

(Two of my favorite examples of the creative, lovely forms the protest took are here by Karen Walrond, aka @Chookooloonks and Joy Tanksley’s Super Silly Dance.)

Now, as 2011 has dawned, I thought it was time to really do something about all that TGOI  awoke in me.

The beginnings of my own Breakdown Spiritual Awakening, you might say.

I signed up for the Winter Dream Lab with Brené, organized by the fantastic Jen Lemen and Andrea Scher of Mondo Beyondo. It’s going to be 8 weeks of inspiration, examination, (likely) frustration and non-perfect improvisation. And I am psyched!

It seems only fitting that today I publish a Protest Perfection playlist (must have iTunes to open) – songs inspired by Brené’s book and the community she’s created through her work and her own vulnerability. I never feel more “connected” than when I listen to music, especially singer/songwriters who tell their stories through lyrics.

So, here’s the list of titles, artists and the set of lyrics that put them on the list. There are so many possible additions – please share your ideas in the comments, or make your own Ping list in iTunes or another site and post the link. I’ll take all the perfection protests I can get!

PROTEST PERFECTION PLAYLIST – By Krista Carnes, 1/10/11

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Who Are You Not To Shine – The Nields**

Sometimes you wish you were someone different
Sometimes you want to start all over again
Sometimes you want to go back to being a baby
Sometimes you want to jump ahead to the end

Maybe you could start to see it different
Maybe you could sit down here and rest
Maybe you could hear it once from my side
I think you are the best, the best, the best

Who are you not to shine?
Who are you not to glow?
Who are you not to be your own best self?
You can be who you are
You can change as you grow
But be you, don’t be anybody else

If you weren’t you then who would tell your stories
If you weren’t you then who would walk your miles?
If you weren’t you then who would help your sisters?
If you weren’t you then who would smile your smile?

The messages of these  songs touch my core and are ones I need (whether I like it or not) to send to myself if I am ever going to nuture it in my sons, my relationships and my world. And that, my friends, is the “big” gift of The Gifts of Imperfection. We can’t give/love/parent/believe what we don’t have ourselves.

Please, let’s start a playlist to keep us listening for a long time to come! Happy Protesting!

I’m not a huge fan of Halloween.

There’s nothing really fun about being scared or scaring others which is what it’s about for a lot of people. I inherently mistrust someone in a mask and I’ve always preferred seeing people for who they really are.

photo by PumpkinDave

Trick-or-treating, however, is an entirely different ball of silly string.

I love to trick-or-treat and I know why.

It’s all about marketing.

At 10 or 11, I realized a number of aspects affected my “great candy to crap candy corn ratio.” I think they apply to marketing any service, product, book or business today.

1. Creativity and presentation count

People like to see creativity and thought put into costumes. It’s easy to go the mass-market store-bought route, but the older you get, the more that seems like a lazy ploy to get free candy. Big whoop. Just by knocking, you’ll probably get a piece. But when someone acknowledges your (and your mom’s) hard work, planning and ultimate execution with a great compliment and bigger handful of the goods? That makes all the difference. Here, go ahead, take another.

2. Manners and kindness move mountains (of candy)

Halloween is, in many ways, the most social and public tradition we have. At no other time are we invited to knock on so many doors with the almost guaranteed assumption that we will be welcome and no expectation we will ever return. Even if you know a ton of your neighbors by name, a good Halloween route takes you outside of that immediate circle and you find yourself at the houses of strangers.

And despite some who project a sense of annoyed obligation at the task, and others who simply opt-out of it by not being home or turning their porch lights off, the majority of houses put out a flickering jack-o-lantern because they want you to come knocking.

So when you do, you Must. Be. Nice! I credit my mother for teaching me to always make eye contact, smile, and yes, actually say the words “trick-or-treat.” (Now that I have my own house I realize how few kids actually even say that anymore. Many just grunt and hold their pillow cases open. I drop in a piece. Just one.)

And then, for god’s sake, look them in the eye again and say thank you. These people have decided to interrupt their regularly scheduled evening activities to give you free candy. Expressing gratitude is  polite. It shows you respect their time and their candy. You’re so welcome. Here, have another.

3. Beware of the false promise of great decoration

There’s one in every neighborhood. The house that’s decorated to the hilt – gravestones litter the yard, spider webs hang in every tree or doorway. Ghosts and monsters peer from corners. Perhaps there’s a smoke machine or crazy lighting set up on the big night. It’s the house that makes a kid say, “I have to get to that house on Halloween” even if that means walking a half-mile farther in the cold.

More often than not, it’s these houses that fail to deliver when it comes to the candy. They give out those tiny Tootsie Rolls like the bank or the nail salon offers in sad little bowls along with peppermint candies.  Sure, it was fun getting to the door, but what a letdown. These are the people who are supposed to “get it” more than others. And yet, they don’t.

Sometimes the balance is perfect. The atmosphere is great. The candy is equally great. All the kids leaving the yard are amped from the experience and you can’t wait to get to the door. It’s the stuff of legend.

4. Communities have memories

It doesn’t take long for the word to get out about those houses that have weak candy offerings or, even worse – raisins! There was one house on our street that every year, without fail, gave out raisins.  As the years passed and the pattern was confirmed, I simply skipped that house on my route so I could spend that time in pursuit of better goods.

At the same time, certain houses in my neighborhood could always be counted on for great candy goodness. The Green’s always gave out Baby Ruths, which I loved. The big yellow house on Park Place had bowls of Bit-O-Honeys every year, a favorite of my mother’s and mine.

These may not have been everyone’s favorite, but they made my mental “must visit” list every year. And I made sure to tell them their house was one of my favorites and why — anything to reinforce their candy of choice for following year.

5. Some houses are worth extra effort

One of my best friends since middle school lived on a tiny cul-de-sac of three houses, right off a pretty busy residential road. In the Connecticut suburbs on a dark Halloween night, it wasn’t exactly a trick-or-treating hot spot.

My friend’s mother always liked Halloween and wished more trick-or-treaters would come her way. One year she bought a ten pack of king-sized Snickers bar. You know, the long ones, like you got at the movie theater? She let it be known among us pre-teens and that year we strategically included her house in our Halloween night plans, each walking away with the king of all Halloween treats. We felt amazing for the experience and so did she. Her house was the first on our list for years to come and it wasn’t really for the candy. It was more for the feeling of being in a special club of elite trick-or-treaters.

In marketing, engagement is our candy. It’s why we want people to seek us out and what we’re looking for in return.

So for this Halloween, treat yourself to thinking about your marketing activities from the mindset of an 11-year-old about to embark on another trick-or-treating adventure:

• How creative and thoughtful is your public presentation to your target market?
• What ways can you be nicer or more polite in your communications?
• Does your public “decoration” accurately reflect the promise you’re making to clients?
• What are you are you giving out to your community so they remember you and put you on their “must visit” list?

• Which clients do you go out of your way for? Why should someone go out of their way to know you? How do you let them know it will be worth the time?

“If you are your authentic self you have no competition”

That’s the line that took me from Unmarketing follower to Unmarketing acolyte.

In finding Scott Stratten and his “UnMarketing” philosophy–and that’s what it is, a philosophy, not a marketing “system” or cookie cutter method–I found a kindred spirit. Someone who had put words to many of the business and communications beliefs I’ve long held but never consolidated.

(Don’t know Scott Stratten? Do you have an idea, product, or company you want to promote, or heck, just want to make new friends? Read him. Buy him. Follow him.)

So, last night found me in Glastonbury, CT for one of Scott’s UnBookTour stops hosted by the AMA-CT chapter. Some regular Umarketing Twitter followers were there (Jon Thomas, Kathy Caprino, and Erika Andrade) but many in the audience were hearing Scott’s message for the first time. As someone who puts authors in front of audiences for a living, I know the charge in the air when a group of people “get it.” Last night, you could almost hear the new ideas popping in people’s brains.

Unmarketing is “what comes naturally, not being forced to do things that make you ill.”

I read UnMarketing: Stop Marketing. Start Engaging. the day (!) it came out, and seeing Scott in action cemented everything I believed about him and the Unmarketing ideas.

Every interaction we have is marketing–every email, every tweet, every simple kindness and courtesy we extend when we buy our coffee in the morning or answer the phone. It all reflects who we are.  And if it’s true that people do business and build relationships with people they know, like and trust – then everything we do needs to reinforce:

• how we want to be known
• what we want to be liked for
• and why people should trust us with their thoughts, their feelings, their creations and their business.

As a member of Scott’s UnArmy, I believe business is built on relationships, so I’m making building them my business. [Scott, how about an Unarmy badge?] To do that, I need to get out of my own way more often but also not get too lost in the ideas. I have to take action and overcome my “perfection paralysis” and “comment intimidation.” I have to be kind to myself and believe in the relationship building I am doing, not beating myself up thinking I should do more. For me, I need to worry less and push “send” more. Yes, everything online is there “forever,” but only the best, most helpful stuff stays alive.

My stand

This inaugural blog post is dedicated to anyone who believes they need to”do more” before they put themselves out there, before they share their thoughts publicly, before they dive into the not-actually-so-scary-in-reality world of social media and modern (un)marketing. You don’t. You can just jump.

The proof? I’m not waiting until I have fifteen blog posts in the hopper before I press “publish” as many online marketing “experts” suggest.  I’m not requiring daily or weekly posts of myself.  I’n insisting that I have some fun with it. And that typo in the previous sentence? I’m leaving it in because some posts won’t be error-free. Taking Scott’s cue, I will blog not on frequency or out of obligation. I will blog on passion.

Here’s a non-exhaustive list of what I’m passionate about:

• Authors
• Books – and how they come into the world, and what happens next
• Writing
• Public Speaking & Book Tours
• Marketing
• Publishing
• Parenting and the healthy overall development of young people
• Being the best person I can be
• Content – in all its mass communications forms
• Entrepreneurship
• The great expression of a great idea

This blog will cover any and all of the above when the mood strikes and the passion requires it.

Hope we stay in touch.

So here I go. Pushing publish…now! *click*

xoxo, Krista